Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
Was having dinner with Jasmine and Rachel yesterday night, in the midst of our random topics, she talked about the idea she learnt from school, for the YF camp, which i thought was pretty cool. So i will start my own on this blog :) The purpose is to review how God had seen me through. And since my life's always been a big hoo ha, i thought, maybe start slow la, and in point form.
So here goes, *warning* content may be disturbing at times, but ya, nobody force you to read, so cannot tahan, er... Go la..
Birth:
- 15 Jan 1983, wee hours in the morning
Place:
- KK Women's and Children's Hospital Pte Ltd
First Person's arms:
- Grandma (Maternal)
Special events:
- when mum was pregnant with me, she had this jade bracelet. She couldn't understand why she always feel so suffocating, until my dad broke her jade, and she felt relieved. and mind you, jade dont break easily, so she tell story halfway, i dont know that's good or bad to superstitious people.
- one week before, my mum struck 4D.
Happy Fact:
I'm born! and my grandma was happy to see me.
Sad Fact:
Not a boy mum had been hoping for 9 months. She told me on my 21st birthday this fact, she thought dad would change for the better if i was a boy.
Known facts:
- weight 4kg
- born by cesarean... C-Section. Dont know correct spelling not.
Places of Residence:
- Bedok Reservoir (Age 0 - 5)
- Toa Payoh North (Age 5 - 10)
Memories:
- Being loved and sayang by many people
- Weekends at Grandma's house (warm feelings of love)
- Playing toys we couldnt afford there
- Being baby sat by a nice macik who stayed closed by. Always curry puff after bath, while she powered me up with the snake power (now you guys know why i like that powder), could converse in malay
Traumatic events (ok, people, if you want to leave now, please do):
@ Bedok Reservoir
- House always feels cold (as in no love) and its always noisy
- Mum and dad always quarreling and fighting
- Sisters hated me, especially the 2nd one..
- Dad held mum at chopper point, mum asking me to call 999, while dad threatening me if i do it she dies kinda thing. Sisters both hiding in the room.
- was part of some sexual activities my sisters came up with, didnt know it was wrong until much much much later when sex ed came to school, dont worry i still virgin..
- always injured myself especially my head, most severe time was i slipped and bump my head on the side of the concrete floor, bled, didnt see doc, didnt tell mum. I shall not say who was bathing me.
- slept with mum all the time, so even when she's doing that thing with dad, yup, i was there right beside them, trying to sleep, again, i dont know what they were doing, all i know is im very tired, and they are creating a lot of disturbance.
- mum told me there were a few times i spotted "ghosts" and without knowing it, i asked mum who these people are. Only remembered one incident, whereby i saw my "dad" outside my room door, and suddenly, "he" came in, and turn and walked into the wardrobe mirror. Next morning, mum said i was searching for my dad inside the mirror, and again, she dragged me to temple and play, oops i mean pray.
- major major major quarrel between mum and dad. Couldnt remember much, only remembered police were involved. My aunts were there, grandpa was scolding dad on mum's behalf (alright!). Again, i dont know where my sisters are, but i remembered my aunty josephine and Aunty Chris looked after me that night :)
@ Toa Payoh
- Shifted to Toa Payoh after the above incident
- A few weeks/ months (?), house was peaceful, coz dad not around. Then i started seeing this man in my house, my mum made me call him uncle. Because I really couldnt remember him as my dad.
- Went to kindergarten, hated school, cant buy uniform or something, i think dont have my size or no money, kids in class laughed at me.
- Hate going to school coz mummy not there, always cried at the gate till i fall asleep at the gate.
- started hating to talk to everyone else except mum. Sisters thought i was spoilt, mum thought i was autistic. I think, a bit of both la..
- Crush on my female kindergarten teached ( I DIDNT KNOW ITS WRONG!!)
- Crush on my cousin's gf (then) now wife.
- during the 7th month, people burn joss paper, joss paper flew, stuck on both my calves, couldnt remove, so both calves chao tar, burnt badly, had to walk like penguin for a month or two i think. Now my calves are showing life! Got one or two strand of hair...
- First saddest moment of my little life, my grandma past away. The woman i loved the most, who showed me love in the simplicity of her understanding. I love you grandma. I am so sad to know where you are now, so sorry if you didnt hear the gospel before.. I miss you a lot..
- Couldnt afford K2 studies, so stayed home almost the whole year.
My story is not for the faint of heart (sorry spiderman!). It is true, though dramatic, but that is how I spent the first 6 years of my life. And these are based on what i can remember, things that affected me for a long time.
Anyway, truly, God has seen me through these years even before I knew Him, so next are the things i want to thank God for:
- keeping me alive, despite the countless times I hurt my head
- giving me my mummy, her hands and heart are crafted by God to function as a working & disciplining dad, a loving and caring mum, a close friend & soulmate.
- my sisters, though they hated me, still, they did all the household chores, looked after me, handling and mishandling me, getting whacked and scolded for the troubles i caused (which i really dont know!!!)
- Dad, well still trying to appreciate and love you. But i had forgiven you. So ... erm... I just thank God for you la, because dont have you where got me..
- Grandparents who loved and protected us
- Cousins who played and bullied me
- Aunties who were always there beside mum for being the sisters I should learn to be to others.
YUP YUP YUP, God is GOOD.
Part 2 would be perhaps 7 to 10. Primary one to three, going on to four.
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