Matthew 5:37

But let your communications be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.

I feel something weird going around me lately. People who had always been urging me to quit my job, actually has questions about me quitting my job at this time! and people who knew I want to go to Chiangmai to build church, also have questions about it...

I feel so......... diao..... very very diao......

and they like to relate to.. After i go kenya..........

even more...... diao.......

Excuse me ah, but hor, after Bro Nat told the whole Galilee, while closing for his sermon, he showed a clip and it showed the land they purchased (June 2009) i turned to my right, and sis Pat was sitting right there, and I asked her, "You need people to build church?" I think i know how to tell, when someone so earnestly nodding her head and said "Yes, come come!", means they really need help. And so, FROM THEN ON, i think somehow or rather I have been mentioning I want to go build church.

And recorded in my prayer journal, i started praying for this item together with my Kenya trip on the the 3rd July 2009.

And, in my blog here, i had mentioned at least 3 times, 24th, 28th and 29th July, either i want to build church, i want to go Chiangmai, or I want to go THailand build church.

I even posted on my facebook lil box about going to chiangmai, BEFORE the Kenya trip.

And i remembered the many conversations i had with diff people, all who told me to FOCUS on Kenya first, come back then say.

Then now, i come back liao, then I say, people say I come back from Kenya want to fly here fly there.........

First of all, I not exactly very rich and i even got difficulty paying my $70 rent monthly. But God already burden my heart, I think He will definately give when its time. And God like to do that to me, coz He knows I like to anyhow spend money to spoil people, esp my mum and my lovely babies.

And secondly, you think my boss a.k.a bro in law, will so happily let me go this 3 months, taking unpaid leave and leaving his office filled with paper work? And I explain liao, i prayed (again recorded in my prayer journal) for clear directions specifically after KENYA (everything was put on hold) and next day, God showed me the Ephesian verse, about investing time wisely. So ar... Like that, isnt God answering my prayer? And i mention i want to quit since like May 09, then delay, June, then July, now Aug..

I say, until mouth and pants want to drop together. I AM a VERY direct person. Very very direct person. Not happy also i will say, happy i even more will say. So please please, if you want to comment, say out, if not, dont say in your heart, dont show face face all.. Ok? Maybe most of you dont know, but i am also VERY sensitive, and my sensitivity is not the hormone in process kind, is the really i know what you are thinking kind. So, if you have something to say, SAY IT PLEASE... Coz have to be around most of you, knowing exactly what's going through your head and your mouth is saying other wise is breaking my heart seriously.

I already cried for a long time. Because I knew what was going on. Stop relating all things to Kenya. But start relating all things to God. I think besides thinking why Cynthia like that after coming back from Kenya, maybe you can help me by praying for my mum's salvation, for my family's situation?

I am disappointed. But i know its just human nature, I will forgive, and I will pray. But I am writing this because, I want to stop crying.

God bless all!